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just risen. How is it that I have disturbed you so deeply already?
Ha, ha, ha. What a lovely little trill of a laugh I have. When I m drunk. Otherwise
gag. You know, I m just thinking about the, uh, the thing tonight. Getting wound up.
Like I usually do. You know me.
Yes, I do. He approached me slowly. As if I might spook at any sudden moves. His
brows slanted down. You and I should be fine. I have rescinded my agreement with
Zarsa. I will not try to meet Badu and Hanzi until I am sure they will not be harmed by our
reunion. And yet I sense you would cheerfully slam my head against the wall if you
thought you could get away with it. Why is that?
Uh. My voice broke. I cleared my throat, which felt far too dry for somebody who d
just downed an entire glass of tea. Do we really have time for this? I tapped the face of
my watch. We should be at the café in, like I checked the time. Crap! An hour? How
was I going to put him off that long?
Screw it. I sat down. On the floor. Looked up at him until he sank down in front of me. I
was about to rip him a new one over Zarsa. Let him know I didn t appreciate being the
other woman. But some part of me knew that wasn t the real problem. And when I
opened my mouth, that was the bit that spoke up.
You need to bury your boys, I said.
Immediately his powers shifted. As if I d physically threatened him, he raised his abilities
the way a boxer will lift his fists. What do you mean? he asked, biting off each word as
if he wished it were my head. His eyes, which had been their typical relaxed brown, began
to darken.
The ghost of my mother rose before me. Not like I d seen her in hell, but the real-life
version. She spread her nicotine-stained fingers like she was holding a plate full of chicken
gizzards and screeched, See? This is why you need to learn to bury your feelings. Never
mind how crazy that ll make you. These conversations never turn out well!
Ignoring her, I plowed on. You never really grieved. I mean, you went from fury over
their deaths, to plotting and pulling off the ultimate revenge. And then, from what I
gather, you stepped straight into denial that you might never see them again. You never
really mourned. And you definitely never accepted. This whole search has been one long
demonstration of how far you ll go to deny the fact that Badu and Hanzi died. That you
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lost them. And that it feels horrible.
How do you know what I did and did not do? he snarled. You were not there. You did
not follow me to their graves every night.
What did you do there? I asked mildly. Did you talk to them about how much you
missed them? Or did you promise them vengeance?
Vayl s powers tightened up another notch. I didn t believe he d freeze me, but I could tell
by the look in his eye I d pushed him about as far as he was willing to go. So I gave him
one last shove.
I need to be able to trust you. Professionally I know I can. But if you want to be with me
. . . you need to be with me all the way.
This is an ultimatum, then? he spat, his black eyes sparking red. Either give up on
meeting my boys or forget about us?
I sighed. Liliana really did a number on you, didn t she? At his wide eyes I said, I don t
do ultimatums, Vayl. It s not a this or that deal. You re going to do what you feel is right.
So am I. That s why they call us adults. And, frankly, I do think you should try to meet
the souls that once lived in the bodies of your boys. Someday. After you ve said goodbye
to Hanzi and Badu. When you ve come to realize that the men you meet in America will
not be the teenage Rom you loved beyond words over two hundred years ago. They ll be
grown-ups. Who were raised by men other than you. Men they call Dad.
Vayl shook his head. Hard. No. It must not be like that.
Why not?
Because they are all I have! He spat the words like they d been beaten out of him.
No, Vayl, I said softly. I let my fingers brush across the top of his hand. Just a touch to
remind him of what could be. He shuddered. To be honest, I felt the same. I sucked in a
breath. Forced myself to concentrate. I said, They were all you had.
Before his eyes could go completely green I held up my hands. My point is, your
obsession has already messed with me. The fact that you took Zarsa s blood. That you did
something that intimate with her. That you planned to get even closer. You re right. It
makes me want to wrap you up in rubber bands and then just sit next to you and snap
them every time I feel annoyed at you. Which at this point would be all night long.
He should have looked remorseful. But I thought my words actually excited him. His
voice, always husky and low took on a rich undertone as he said, Jasmine? Are you
jealous?
Not quite, I said softly. But if you belonged to me. Only me. I would be.
He knew exactly what I meant. He ran his hands up my thighs. Oh. So. Slowly. Soon,
he whispered.
I shook my head. Not until you re ready.
He pulled his hands back. My thighs throbbed, missing their weight, their heat. My boys,
he whispered.
I love them too, I told him. Because they were yours. Startling thought. I wish they d
been mine. I d have kicked their asses up, down, and sideways before I d have allowed
them to be the kind of hellions who d steal a farmer s wagon. Then they would never
have been in a position for that same farmer to shoot them dead. But you re holding
them too hard.
He took a while to ponder the palms of his hands. The mask that typically held back every
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