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Only Michelle. Her voice quaked, but she swallowed and stuck her chin out as she pulled her son to
her side, holding him tight as she kissed his head. She clasped hands with her husband, who embraced
his family in a hug. I can t lose Amanda, too.
We ll find her, Olivia found herself saying. She knew better than anyone not to offer false hope. But
certainly fate or God or whatever damn force was out there wouldn t take Amanda away from this
family. Can we see her room?
The police already searched there, Mr. Davidson said.
I want to see it. Just for a minute.
Olivia knew what Amanda must have been feeling. And if Amanda was like her, she would have left
clues, hoping her mother or father would find her. While Olivia had never run away, she d been lost her
entire life.
Brenda took her upstairs, leaving Zack to talk to the uniformed officers who were coordinating the
search out of theDavidsons spacious dining room. Olivia didn t know what to say to the woman. She
stopped her outside Amanda s door. Mrs. Davidson, I am truly sorry about yesterday.
Maybe if I d listened, Amanda wouldn t have run away. I neglected her. Her voice caught and her
hand fluttered to her lips. I love her so much.
My sister was killed when we were kids, Olivia found herself saying. My my mother. She stopped,
surprised that she d spoken out loud.
Brenda reached out and took both of her hands. For the first time Olivia could remember, she didn t
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flinch. Instead, she welcomed the connection. She acted like I did, Brenda said, squeezing Olivia s
hands. I can now see what I was becoming. If you hadn t said what you did, I don t think I would have
noticed what I d been doing to my family. Thank you.
You love them.
Oh, yes. I m sure your mother loved you, too. It s just, the grief swallows you up sometimes.
Olivia shook her head. No, my mother couldn t love anyone after Missy was gone. She committed
suicide on the anniversary of Missy s murder. Five years of living with a woman who gave birth to her
but didn t see her, didn t touch her, didn t acknowledge her. Olivia had wanted to disappear then, to be
anyplace but home.
Brenda s mouth dropped open and she pulled Olivia into a tight embrace. The hug felt awkward and
Olivia didn t return it, but Brenda didn t seem to notice. You poor child. Child? Olivia was fast
approaching forty; she was certain Brenda was younger than she. She couldn t remember anyone calling
her achild . But if she were a child again, she d want a woman like Brenda Davidson to be her mother.
Brenda stepped back and stared at Olivia, resolve written across her face. We will find Amanda and
bring her home. And I promise you, she will never doubt I love her with my whole heart. We will
survive.
Olivia believed her.
They didn t see anything useful in Amanda s room. Brenda repeated what was missing a couple of
stuffed animals, some clothing, and money, about a hundred dollars they figured was in her piggy bank.
Her bicycle was missing from the garage as well.
As they walked out of the room, Olivia spotted a computer in an alcove at the top of the stairs.
Bookshelves on either side were stuffed with papers and kids books.
This isn t your husband s office.
No, it s for the children. Homework and computer games.
Does Amanda know how to use the computer?
Brenda smiled sadly. What kid these days doesn t?
Olivia sat at the terminal and was about to boot up the computer when she saw that it was already on.
She moved the mouse and the blank screen was replaced by a desktop photo of the Davidson
children all three of them in Halloween costumes.
Brenda drew in a shaky breath. God, I miss her so much.
You always will, Olivia said quietly. She brought up the Internet browser and looked at the history.
Mapquest, a free Internet mapping program, was accessed at 3:35A.M. Today. Heart racing, she pulled
up the last viewed map.
Would Amanda have any reason to go toMount St. Helens ? she asked.
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St. Helens? Good God, no. Brenda leaned over Olivia s shoulder. Oh my God. She s scared to
death of volcanoes. She wasn t born whenSt. Helens erupted, but we all talk about it. She said when
God gets mad he ll make the mountain blow up. She jumped up. That s over a hundred miles away!
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